Power dynamics in negotiation

Power can be a subjective phenomenon considering that it is socially constructed. This means that not everyone frames power in the same way, although there is a predominant view of power as “power over” and “getting someone to do something they may not have done on their own.” CMM is very helpful here in addressing the three questions of: Are your goals aligned with the other party? Who holds the power? and, How important is the relationship? This is so because by using CMM tools and concepts we can deconstruct the stories we tell about ourselves and others as it pertains to power. In a negotiation setting, it is important to understand our own framing of power and identify how our negotiation partner thinks of power as well, so we know more about the power dynamics in our relationship.

Read the full article in CU Management (a print and online magazine for credit union leaders)

Power Dynamics in Negotiation | CU Management

What’s in a name?

We all carry stories about our gender’s attributes and how we interact with those from other gender identities. However, many of these stories are not explicit to us and tacitly guide how we frame our relationship from a gender perspective. These stories that come from our families, education, workplace, society at large, and social media, influence our perspective taking and subsequent behavior. This often shows up in negotiation settings and can put us at a disadvantage if we carry stories of “not making waves” and “being nice,” because it might deter us from being assertive in getting what we need. At the same time, we may be hearing contradictory stories about being assertive and getting what we want, which can cause some internal dissonance and stress. I have found CMM useful in being able to identify these different stories that inform negotiations. In working with clients, we can develop strategies to grow the stories that strengthen the client’s negotiation, while rewriting the stories that get in the way and hold the client back from asserting for what she wants.

Read the full article in the Good Men Project (a men’s site that promotes enlightened masculinity with 1.2 million monthly readers)

https://goodmenproject.com/everyday-life-2/whats-in-a-name-4/

Negotiation triggers

We have all had experiences negotiating. Some of these have been more memorable than others. Usually, the ones that did not go so well remain in our memories more vividly than the ones that worked out well. We carry these stories about not having done well in our negotiations because we weren’t smart enough, or not experienced enough, or were ill prepared, to name a few negative stories we carry. These associations can be so visceral, we are “triggered” just hearing the word negotiation because the feeling is so bad. In a way of rewriting these associations, we can change the associations we make, so that instead of the negative pairings we hold, we can create new pairings. An example of this can be to create a story of appreciation and congratulations for just showing up to your next negotiation, prepared, even if the outcomes are not ideal. You have challenged your former story of not being good enough, with a new story of being courageous. CMM has been useful in identifying these negative patterns and transforming them into new and generative patterns toward successful negotiations.

Read the full article in businessingmag (an online magazine for small business owners and entrepreneurs)

https://businessingmag.com/20286/strategy/negotiation-trigger/

Helping women become strong negotiators

Women negotiate on a daily basis, at home, in the workplace, with their friends, in their everyday interactions with procuring local services. However, too often, women are challenged by gender stereotypes that have them feeling as though they are inadequate negotiators. Part of these feelings of inadequacy are that women are challenged with competing stories they carry about what it means to be a good woman. Too often, the framing of “the way women should be,” leaves women feeling as though they cannot assert what they want. This leaves them frustrated and lagging behind. On the other hand, if they challenge these stereotypes and assert themselves in their negotiations, they are too often labelled with derogatory names. It leaves many women confused and lagging behind reaching their full potential. CMM can be helpful here in helping women make explicit what their priorities are when preparing for their negotiations, so that they are strategic in putting their energy into asserting what is most important to them.

Listen to the online interview in the Voice of America podcast series hosted by http://www.globalbusinesstherapy.com/leadership-beyond-borders/

https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/145420/helping-women-become-strong-negotiators